No sympathy for you
by Karen Winchester
Summary: Set in the episode Sympathy for the Devil (5x01). Little AU. Bobby wasn't possessed when he said those hurtful words to Sam. The younger Winchester didn't go to the library. Sam heard what Bobby said, and well, he decided to do what his father ordered Dean to do a long time ago. He had to save the world, but from him. Dean and Bobby to the rescue.
1. Chapter 1

**No sympathy for you**

 _I'm sorry for everything  
Oh everything I've done  
From the second that I was born  
It seems I had a loaded gun  
And then I shot, shot, shot a hole through  
Everything I loved  
Oh I shot, shot, shot a hole through every single  
Thing that I loved_

 _Am I out of luck?  
Am I waiting to break?  
When I keep saying that I'm looking for a  
Way to escape  
Oh I'm wishing I had what I'd taken for granted  
I can't help you when I'm only gonna do  
You wrong_

 **SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

 **Prologue:** Set in the episode Sympathy for the Devil (5x01). Little AU. Bobby wasn't possessed when he said those hurtful words to Sam. He didn't go to the library. Sam heard what Bobby said, and well, he decided to do what his father ordered Dean to do. He had to save the world, but from him. Dean and Bobby to the rescue.

 **Warning:** Some dialogues were changed.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

 _"_ _I never would have guessed that your dad was right about your brother"_

 _"_ _Bobby…"_

 ** _"_** _What John said, about saving Sam, or killing him if you couldn't. Maybe, we shouldn't have tried so hard to save him. Look what he's done"_

 _"_ _Bobby. Stop. I don't wanna talk about him right now"_

 _"_ _We didn't have the strength to stop him, because we loved him too much. We should have done something. Now we're gonna die, and the Devil will laugh at our faces"_

 _"_ _Like what. What are you trying to say? That I should have killed him when I had the chance? Even if Sam's changed and betrayed me, I can't kill him. When he released the Devil, all that I wanted was to kick his ass. If I talk to him, I'm afraid that the rage that I have inside me will blind me and I'll kill him. If he wasn't my brother, believe me, I would have put a bullet on him already"_

Sam had heard it all. He had nothing to say to them. He had no way to show how sorry he was, or how much he wished things could have been different.

He trusted a demon, and it changed him. He knew he became darker and darker every day that he had been with her, but at the time, he felt so strong that he didn't care. He should have known that exorcising demons with his mind, drinking that blood, or lying to his brother was a bad idea. Dean was right. He had been like a drug addict, but the difference between a normal one and him, was that he started the end of the world, and now every single person on this planet was gonna suffer because of his stupidity.

When he heard Bobby saying that he wanted him to lose his number, or what he said to Dean when he "was gone", he knew that even if it hurt, John had been right to say that.

Two or three years ago, he was a simple kid, just hunting demons and saving people. He hadn't understand why John said what he said, but now he did.

Sam knew that even if Dean could go back, he wouldn't kill him. Call it habit or whatever, but he knew that Dean was told to keep Sam safe no matter what. He did a great job, and he was sure that if he'd get shot right now, Dean would patch him up and later keep doing the same silence treatment.

He was a monster. He was evil. He had had a family that loved him, and would have gave everything for him. But he ruined the relationship that that he had with them, and now it was too late to fix things. Hell, they had even locked him in the panic room to save him from becoming what he became! They had done everything that they could, but the evil part inside him had won. He was now another monster that he used to hunt.

Sam was sure that John would have killed him without mercy. And that is what should have happened when Dean came back from hell.

Dean and Bobby wouldn't kill him. The task was too big, even for them.

Suddenly, an "stupid idea" (that's how Dean would have called it), came to his mind. If they couldn't kill him, he would kill himself.

But first, he was gonna have a last drink at some bar, maybe play some pool. He had to say goodbye to the world.

Live his last days away from everything he had known.

Dean and Bobby were going to be good without him. He knew that.

He walked for fifteen minutes before a bar called "Welcome to Hell" appeared. He drank tequila, plus beer, and just like he wanted, played pool and earned some money. The guy that lost punched him and kicked his stomach and ribs. He heard how one of his ribs broke, bit he didn't care. He got up slowly and got out of the bar, renting a motel with the credit card that he took before going out of the room that he shared with his brother. He waited until his mind would be clearer, and decided that it was the perfect time to do his plan.

Taking a piece of paper, started writing the letter to his family.

 ** _Dear Bobby and Dean_** ** _:_**

 ** _If you're reading this is because I am dead, or I am about to be. I heard the conversation that you two had when I left. I know that a simple and pathetic "I'm sorry" won't fix anything. I can't even say how guilty and condemned I feel right now. You were right saying every single word, because I deserve them. I deserve even worse things, and you know that._**

 ** _I can't fix my mistake. I guess that the world will end bloody, and that's it, right?_**

 ** _You should have killed me while I was in the panic room, because I am dangerous. I am even worse than the monsters that we hunt. I could have chosen the right path, but instead I decided to ignore the warning signs, not looking where I was going. If you won't be able to forgive me, it's ok. I understand. I know that all that what I've done can't be forgiven. Not even God would be able to forgive me. If I go to hell, I will be happy. Suffering forever will be a pleasure considering all the bad things I have done, all the sins I have and will have to pay for._**

 ** _Maybe killing myself will finally let you feel free, Dean. You've been looking after me since I was a kid, and I let you down when I left for Stanford, or when I ran to Flagstaff and dad got mad at you. I could write a list with all of my mistakes, and it'd be infinite._**

 ** _Even if I betrayed you and made mistakes, by the time, I thought that I was doing the right thing. I thought that I was going to stop the apocalypse and be the hero to your eyes. I was wrong, and I should have seen that._**

 ** _Anyways, now I have to go. I'll get out of town and away from you. You won't find me in time. Maybe if you want can salt and burn my body if you find it. Or you can trash it underground with no mercy. Maybe I am escaping from all of this, or maybe I am doing for the first time in a while one good thing._**

 ** _I know that I've said this already, but I'm sorry. I hope that this gives you peace of mind. You are the best brother that I could have ever asked for. You gave up your childhood to take care of me. You became a man too young because of me. If I hadn't been born, I am sure that you would have had a nice life with dad and mom. I took everything from you, and I'm sorry for that too. I love you Dean. I know that I'm not used to say that. But I really do._**

 ** _Bobby, I love you too. You are my second father, and you've been always there for us. I let you down, and now I am doing what I have to do. You'd be proud of me, and so would be dad. I will save you from my presence, my cursed life that ended up affecting you guys and the rest of the world._**

 ** _I will send you some money along with this card that I earned playing pool just like you, Dean, teached me. At least I wanna help you a little with something I can do good before I go._**

 ** _I LOVE YOU BOTH. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING._**

 ** _SAM W._**

He put the card and the money inside a envelope and went to the post service. The card would come to the motel that his family were in just in time for him to go and kill himself. For the first time in days, a broken but little smile appeared on his face. He left the room, fist checking that his gun was coming along with him. He wasn't going to steal a car, because it'd be easier for Dean to find him and stop him (he probably wouldn't, even if he could). He left town with a hand against his stomach and ribs, and the other one wiping the tears on his face.

 **Author's note** **: I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. THIS CAME TO MY MIND AND I DECIDED THAT I HAD TO WRITE IT. IF YOU LIKE IT, PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 _I'm hearing what you say, but I just can't make a sound  
You tell me that you need me  
Then you go and cut me down, but wait  
You tell me that you're sorry  
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say_

 _That it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late_

 _I'd take another chance, take a fall  
Take a shot for you  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
But it's nothing new  
I loved you with a fire red  
Now it's turning blue_

 _It's too late to apologize, it's too late_

 **SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

When Sam told Bobby what he had done, what he caused, Dean felt how the anger was consuming him again. He didn't want Sam to talk about it anymore. The silence was better, and it didn't matter if Sam wanted to say his famous "I'm sorry". He would only look at him furious, or say "Sam" with ice-cold voice, making his brother shut his mouth again. That was the only word he had exchanged with his brother since the convent. While Bobby was talking with the younger Winchester, he saw Sam's guilty face (that broke his heart a little. Bobby was like a father for them, and he could see how affected Sam was), and because he knew that kid so much, guessed once he'd be alone the strong masquerade that he was using was going to brake.

He tried to avoid all that was happening. He really tried to save the world, but Sam apparently had had another idea. Since he came back from hell and saw Ruby, warned Sam that the path that he was walking on was dangerous. Not only him, but also the angels warned him too. However, he didn't listen to him or anybody. The worst part was that Dean didn't think that they could get back to normal. They'd never be brothers again the way they were before. Some things couldn't be forgiven, and that one was on of those things. He didn't even trust Sam to watch his back on a simple salt and burn hunt, so that said it all. Sam had been the person that he defended and trusted the most. He even had blamed himself when they were younger and their father was still alive, because he knew how mad John could be if one of them screw up a hunt. Usually He'd been softer with Dean, because he did everything that he was told to do. So, yeah. He'd gotten himself in troubles because his kid brother, and now he was not going to do that ever again. Apparently, Sam was mister independent now, so he could do whatever he wanted to. He thought he didn't need his older brother, and because of all the lies the world was ending.

When Sam told him that he was going to stop using his powers, he tried to believe him. He hadn't trusted him a hundred percent back then, and now his present self was clapping to his past one. It only took four months for Sam to become what he was meant to be. He already gave him the preach that said "I had been alone when you were in hell and blablabla". But his last wish had been for his brother to be normal, and not to dig in those powers that he had.

Sam had promised that to him!

Once some hunters would find out what Sam did, they were going to kill him. He was going to fight for his brother, but only because Sam shared his parents blood with him, ( and also because he'd still give his life for him. After all, he still was his kid brother and he loved him, but he wouldn't say that out loud).

Apart from that, Sam was a man that he'd never known. Yeah, it hurt to say it, but it was true.

When Sam left the room after Bobby's harsh words, Bobby started talking to him.

 _"_ _I never would have guessed that your dad was right about your brother"_

 _"_ _Bobby…"_

 ** _"_** _What John said, about saving Sam, or killing him if you couldn't. Maybe, we shouldn't have tried so hard to save him. Look what he's done"_

 _"_ _Bobby. Stop. I don't wanna talk about him right now"_

 _"_ _We didn't have the strength to stop him, because we loved him too much. We should have done something. Now we're gonna die, and the Devil will laugh at our faces"_

 _"_ _Like what. What are you trying to say? That I should have killed him when I had the chance? Even if Sam's changed and betrayed me, I can't kill him. When he released the Devil, all that I wanted was to kick his ass. If I talk to him, I'm afraid that the rage that I have inside me will blind me and I'll kill him. If he wasn't my brother, believe me, I would have put a bullet on him already"_

A minute of silence filled the room when they heard footsteps going away. Both men didn't pay attention since they were in a motel, and people were coming in and out all the time.

Bobby and Dean read all the books that were in hand until both decided that nothing was in them. They didn't know how to stop the apocalypse, and they knew that it was just matter of time before the situation would get only worst.

Dean fell asleep in one of the beds, and Bobby turned the TV on, changing the channels trying to find a news channel that would give him good news. All of them were talking about forests on fire, big electrical storms and other ways of destruction.

The night ended, and when the sun raised, Dean opened his eyes. He looked all around the room and saw Bobby on the couch sleeping. He saw the empty bed next to his and wondered where Sam was. A part of him felt better if he wasn't around, but his big brother mode was still alert. He checked the hour and saw that it was 08:15 AM.

Sam had left at 16:45 PM, and he hadn't been back since then. Dean took his cellphone and called him, but it went straight to voicemail. He cursed out loud, and that woke Bobby up.

 _"_ _What's going on"_

 _"_ _Nothing. It's just that Sam doesn't answer his damn phone and I am sure that he hadn't come back since he left"_

 _"_ _He'll come back eventually, Dean. If he doesn't we'll go look for him"_

 _"_ _He didn't go with his duffel bag, so that probably means that he's taking some time alone. I would do that too after the mess he's made"_

The conversation ended there as soon as it started, and neither of them talked about him again. It was already 17:45 PM, when Dean heard that, someone knock the door. He was mentally preparing himself to shout at his brother for leaving and not answering the phone, when he saw a mail carrier.

" _Hi. Is Dean Winchester here?"_

 _"_ _Yeah. It's me"_

 _"_ _Oh. Great! I have this letter for you. You have to sign this and I'll give it to you"_

Dean signed the paper that the man gave him, and when he had the card on his hands knew that something bad was going to happen.

" _Why would you receive a letter here? That is officially the weirdest thing that's ever happened in a motel"_

 _"_ _Yeah, I know. I don't know who wrote this. Maybe Ellen or somebody else"_

 _"_ _Open it then, idjit!"_

Dean opened it, and saw the handwriting. Sam's handwriting. Why would Sam write a letter for him? Why would a mail carrier give that card to him?

He read it all, and couldn't believe what was happening. If the apocalypse was a bad thing, what he read was ten times worst. Sam was going to kill himself. He had pushed Sam too far. Sam shouldn't have heard the conversation between Bobby and him. Both men knew that they hadn't mean what they said. They were just pissed, and that was it. He had to save his brother, and make him understand that. He loved that kid, and there was no way that he would keep on fighting without him. Sam had a dark side that scared the crap out of him, but he woukld never hate his little brother. Maybe in a future, everything would get better, but for now both men needed time to get the wounds to heal, and not even the love they both had for each other could change that. He had been punishing him, but he didn't think that he'd take such an extreme measure.

" _What does the letter say Dean? Why are you crying!?"_

Dean didn't know that he was crying. Sam wanted to be his hero, and he made a mistake, a big mistake. But what he hadn't thought about until that moment was that Sam thought that he was going to stop the apocalypse, save the last seal.

And he was also responsible too. He'd broken the first seal. He was guilty as well. He had to find Sam and make him understand that.

If it'd be too late, well, let's just say that he was gonna sit and watch the world burn, because nothing else would matter.

" _Bobby… It's Sam. We need to find him right now!"_

 **Author's note:** **FIRST OF ALL, I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS ARWENADREAMER, SHADOWDANCER33996, SpnKsl5, AND GUEST! YOU MADE MY DAY HAPPIER!**

 **AND ALSO A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL THE FOLLOWERS! Y'ALL ARE AWESOME!**

 **LET ME KNOW WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS CHAPTER, PLEASE!**

 **IF YOU LIKE IT, PLEASE REVIEW, AND IF THAT HAPPENS I WILL UPDATE SOONER!**

 **LOVE U GUYS!**

 **BY THE WAY, THE ACKLESTWINS WERE BORN ON DECEMBER 2** **ND** **!** **J**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 _I'm bleeding out  
Said if the last thing that I do  
Is to bring you down  
I'll bleed out for you  
So I bear my skin  
And I count my sins  
And I close my eyes  
And I take it in  
And I'm bleeding out  
I'm bleeding out for you _

_Innocence is gone  
and what was right is wrong_

 **SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

Sam walked for hours until he couldn't do it anymore and fell on his knees. It was already night, and he hadn't eaten or drank anything, but he wouldn't do that even if his body was asking for water desperately. Not anymore. He was going to add that as a punishment for what he'd done, because when they world would be about to end, people were not going to have something to eat or drink. He was the antichrist, and he had to die suffering until the very last moment, when he'd decide the most painful way to go far away from Earth. He didn't deserve a quick death, and even his family would agree with that.

All that he wanted was to go back where his brother was and beg him to forgive him again, but it'd be useless. Dean was probably celebrating his new freedom. Sam was sure that Dean was going to be affected by his death in the beginning (at least a little. He wanted to believe that), but really thinking about it, what he had wanted since he became a monster was for him to walk away. Dean would never accept his brother's dark side and him neither.

Sam got up and forced his legs to keep walking, looking for an abandoned place or a motel. He needed to close his eyes for few hours and then keep walking.

One hour later, he saw a very familiar old house, and moments later knew that that was the house of Constance, the woman in white. The porch of it was still shattered, and the mark of the Impala's tires were on the broken floor.

He didn't want to be there, because for him it felt like a constant reminder of what he had lost, and how easy he had accepted his very first hunt with Dean after years of being away with Jess in Stanford, sealing his fate. But he couldn't walk anymore, so he accepted what he had found(better than nothing, right?). He went upstairs and found Constance's bed. The red delicate sheets were torn apart, and only one pillow was almost intact considering the years that the thing had been in the place.

The mattress was not comfortable at all, but as soon as he laid down, fell asleep.

 ** _When Sam opened his eyes, he found himself in a nice motel room, and Dean was right next to him sleeping. The tension in the air was not there, and he was sure that because of that he was dreaming. He heard a knock on the door and got up alerted. As soon as he opened it with his gun in one of his hands, saw a man with short and good looking blonde hair, blue eyes and a giant evil smile._**

 ** _"_** ** _Who are you?"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Oh… I guess that you don't recognize me in this vessel. I am the one that will give you everything you want. You were the one that set me free Sammy"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Lucifer… No! Why are you here? What the hell do you want with me?!"_**

 ** _"_** ** _You hurt my feelings Sam. I thought that we were going to be best buddies. I will tell you the reason why I am here. I am here because you are my vessel. You will help me kill my brother, the one who dumped me! He was my everything! I used to adore him, do everything he did. However, he chose God instead of me! Where's all the love that he said he had for me, huh? Big brothers are supposed to be in the good and bad times"_**

 ** _"_** ** _I don't want to hear your pathetic story. You're evil and you know that. You corrupted the world!"_**

 ** _"_** ** _I don't think that you are catching up here. About what I said before… Don't you think that we have similar stories? Your big brother dumped you, called you a monster, and he doesn't care about you anymore. He's Michael's vessel, and we are going to fight. I am supposed to die, but with you by my side I think that we've got chances to win this stupid prophecy"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Dean's not like that. He was right to say that. I see now how wrong I was. You will not convince me with that story of yours. Michael was right to do that and deep inside you know it. You are a legendary monster, and if you would be good, explain to me why people talk about you with fear."_**

 ** _"_** ** _God wanted me to be like this!... But this is not the right time to talk about this. I have to stay on track. Your brother doesn't understand you. You are special, Sam! You know that the demon blood that you have it is not a curse. It's a gift! Dean will never understand how lucky you are! You and I will do magnificent things together! You just need to say a little word… "Yes", and then everything will be alright! "_**

 ** _"_** ** _What are you talking about?"_**

 ** _"_** ** _I am not a demon or a creature you can hunt and kill Sam. I am an angel, so I need your consent to possess your body"_**

 ** _"_** ** _If that's the way it is going to be, I will kill myself before I say that to you!"_**

 **"** ** _I will just bring you back to life, dumbass. You will say yes. In Detroit, to be exact. It doesn't matter how long it takes, you will be mine. And nobody_** **will stop that"**

Sam woke up gasping. His body was drenched in sweat, and his heart was beating faster than ever. He didn't know if the dream he had dreamt was real, but he was scared (really scared). He couldn't be Lucifer's vessel. No chance in hell. He took his gun and pointing It against his temple, pulled the trigger and everything went dark.

In the morning, he opened his eyes and remembered what he had done to himself. Why was he alive? He touched his temple and didn't feel any kind of scar.

A minute later everything made sense. That hadn't been just a nightmare. Lucifer had visited him in his dream. The Devil told him that he was going to bring him back to life if he'd kill himself , and that was the clear proof that the fallen angel wasn't lying about that. He was screwed.

He took his cellphone and turned it on, revealing 56 missed calls from Dean and Bobby. He suspected that Dean would be worried deep inside, and he wanted to tell him about the dream that he had had. He really wanted to do that, but it was better to keep himself silent about it. Both men needed to be away from each other since he was his brother's worst enemy, and there was no going back this time. It'd be like that forever.

His cellphone rang, and unconsciously he accepted the call. After all, he'd been told that he couldn't avoid it since he was a kid. He was about to end it when he heard his brother's desperate voice

 _"_ _Oh, Bobby. Finally! ... Sam, listen to me. We have to talk man. Please. I need you to meet me at the motel we were in, please!"_

 _"…"_

 _"_ _Sam, I know you're there. I know that you can hear me. What Bobby and I said… was crap man. We can't loose you. We're just mad, and when we are mad we say things that we don't feel. You have to believe me…us. You're my little brother, and I promise that we will fix everything. We just need time and patience. I promise that we'll be brothers again"_

"…"

" _Sam! Answer me dammit! Sammy… "_

Sam ended the call, and right after fell to the floor and cried. It was too much, even for him. He had wanted to do the right thing, and now it seemed that he couldn't even kill himself because the DEVIL wanted him to live, so he could possess him.

What was he supposed to do? Was it worth the fight? Was he supposed to say yes? Would his brother forgive him if would do that?

If he couldn't kill himself, at least he was going to make his life be miserable. He had to suffer one way or another.

He took his gun and shot both legs, screaming in the process. Blood was now pouring out of the wounds, and he started feeling weak and dizzy.

Without meaning to, he closed his eyes and fell unconscious to the floor. His last thinking before that was " I'm sorry Dean"

 **Author's note** **: OMG! I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT! I KNOW THAT I AM EVIL, BUT… MAKE SAMMY SUFFER LIKE THAT… I DON'T KNOW!**

 **LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!**

 **SPECIAL THANK YOU TO KANDILYN, DOCLOVER, SpnKsl5, AND GUEST! BECAUSE OF YOU AND THE NEW FOLLOWERS, Y'ALL HAVE HERE A NEW CHAPTER! HOPE U ENJOY IT!** **J**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 _I'm out here alone  
Just trying to get you home  
To tell you I was wrong, but you already know  
Believe me, I won't stop at nothing to see you  
So I've started running_

 _All that I'm after is a life full of laughter  
As long as I'm laughing with you  
And I think that all that still matters is love ever after  
After the life we've been through  
'Cause I know there's no life after you_

 _Last time we talked  
The night that you walked  
Burns like an iron in the back  
Of my mind  
I must have been high  
To say you and I weren't meant to be  
And just wasting my time  
Oh why did I ever doubt you  
You know I would die here without you_

 **SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

Dean and Bobby looked everywhere, but it seemed that Sam had just vanished from the world. Dean was sick worried overthinking what his little brother could be doing to himself (or maybe he had already done). His big brother mode was on and fully charged, as Sam would say. His guilt hadn't gone away, and it was increasing as the hours went by. Bobby told him infinite times that they were going find him alive, but he wasn't so sure about that, and deep inside neither was Bobby. They had received the letter later than they would like to, and both men were desperate and scared. They needed to find him right now!

" _I don't know what I will say to Sam when I see him. I didn't mean what I said. He said to me months before that I was like a father for him, and now I am just another fatherly figure that let him down. That kid and you, Dean, are the reason why I keep fighting these days. I'm old and many times I have found myself with a gun in my hand"_

 _"_ _I know Bobby. Believe that I know that you didn't mean that. He's not himself right now. The kid's destroyed. I can't even imagine how much he's suffering right now, thinking that we want him dead! And the son of a bitch doesn't answer his damn phone! I have called him more than twenty times and every single call went straight to voicemail!"_

 _"_ _He will be alive Dean. We are going to find him"_

 _"_ _What if he's dead, huh?! If he dies thinking that we hate him, I don't know how I am going to move on, keep fighting. He's my little brother, pain in the ass most of the time, but still my little brother. You know that…I won't be able to sell my soul anymore, and that is the only way that I can bring him back"_

 _"_ _Hey! Stop saying those things idjit! What do you think if instead of growing lady parts you call him again and stop torturing yourself?"_

 _"_ _He's not going to answer Bobby. You and I know that!"_

 _"_ _Just call him Dean. Balls! You Winchesters are gonna be the death of me! John was a hardheaded, but you and Sam… you won by a big difference!"_

Dean decided that he was not going to talk anymore, and instead called Sam again. The same results happened, and he exhaled frustrated, wanting to destroy everything, even the world he was living in!

Why did Sam and him had to be condemned? Why they couldn't have the innocence that normal people had?

Just as Sam said once, when Adam appeared in their lives, all the Winchesters were cursed. Adam had had a normal life with his mother, and the only thing that had been a problem by the time was his absent father. But then his mother died, and he did too. The ghouls ate them alive, and Adam died with just 19 years old.

As far as Mary, now he knew who she really was, and what she had done. She was also responsible of all that was happening, even if he didn't want to admit it. She sold her soul to the yellow-eyed demon, and that cursed Sam. His little brother was just a victim of very bad decisions, and no one could deny that. He hadn't thought about that before. Sam told him how different he had felt since he was a kid, but he never talked about that to him until he grew up. His brother probably thought that feeling like that was normal, since his family was not normal either. He didn't know when John found out about Sam's destiny, or how much he knew, and he was pissed because he kept all of it for himself, like everything else in his life. He had been rough with them, rougher than any other hunter with kids. A part of him was thankful because they grew being really strong men, but the other part of him hated John. He had left Dean alone with just 9 years old to take care of his little brother. He was not complaining about it though. As a kid, he had enjoyed looking after Sammy (and he still felt that, even if the same little brother was now a Sasquatch). The problem was that John put too many responsibilities on him, and expected things from him that at the time couldn't give him. He remembered the one and only time he cried when a werewolf attacked him and the wounds on his arm started bleeding. His dad told him "You know who whines? Babies. You are not a baby anymore. Put your big boy pants and lets go. We need to kill that damned thing and go to the motel and to meet Sam".

Another problem had been when his father came back drunk from the bars, usually on his wife's death anniversary or her birthday. He was violent, and Sam was very curious to know why his dad was crying and breaking things, like always, right? He still wanted to know everything like a nerd.

Once or twice he had had to lock the bathroom door with them inside before he'd come. He used to throw plates, break windows, and once it hit him when he tried to made him stand up and see his injuries. He fell on his back and rubbed his face feeling scared of the man that he thought he idolatrized so much. John hadn't even looked at him, and left the room shouting things that he couldn't understand. Sam came out of the bathroom asking him if he was alright, and he just said " _Yes"_. He had to be strong. He was a big brother, and according to what he knew, big brothers were heroes. Heroes had a weird or sad life before they became what they were, and he realized that he fit perfectly in that category. He was Sammy's superhero!

He grew up being silent about his feelings and fears, and Sam never understood that. But he hadn't because Dean always protected him from John's influence and hard lessons. He wanted Sam to be a kid for a little while longer. He did it until he turned 9 years old and found their father's journal and the practices started. He hated the moments when Sam started crying after John shouted at him, telling him that he was going to get them killed with a simple mistake. Those moments broke his heart, but he knew that Sam had to learn everything just like he did. After few years it seemed like he just got used to the kind of life that they had. He became a real Winchester (just like John used to say to Sammy), saving people and hunting things. When Sam turned 15 years old things started to change, and his relationship with his dad too. They fought at least one time at day, and the tension could be felt in the thin air. Dean stopped most of those fights, but in some of them hurtful words were exchanged and Sam ended up crying or John ended up drunk in some random bar around the area.

When Sam left them to go to college, he didn't do anything, didn't say anything to him. He just heard how John told his younger son to leave and never come back. That was what he had done without words after Sam broke the last seal (without meaning to, of course), but with faces expressions and actions. He became John Winchester, and he hated himself for that.

" _Hey Dean. Snap out of it!"_

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _I've been talking to you for at least five minutes and when I looked at you, you were staring at nothing. I know that you're worried, but we need to focus on what's important here"_

 _"_ _Yeah. I'm sorry. It's just that I got distracted"_

 _"_ _What were you thinking about?"_

 _"_ _Nothing. Let's just go to the motel and try to find another road that Sam could have taken"_

 _"_ _Sounds like a plan to me"_

Bobby and Dean entered inside the motel, and after few minutes the old man asked Dean to call Sam again. He did it hopeless, but as soon as the knew that Sam was at the other side of the line everything changed.

 _"_ _Oh, Bobby. Finally! ... Sam, listen to me. We have to talk man. Please. I need you to meet me at the motel we were in, please!"_

 _"…"_

 _"_ _Sam, I know you're there. I know that you can hear me. What Bobby and I said… was crap man. We can't loose you. We're just mad, and when we are mad we say things that we don't feel. You have to believe me…us. You're my little brother, and I promise that we will fix everything. We just need time and patience. I promise that we'll be brothers again"_

"…"

" _Sam! Answer me dammit! Sammy, talk to me man!… "_

Dean cursed out loud when Sam ended the call. He hadn't even made a noise, and that made him be even more stressed and worried. He was still alive, but considering how affected Sam was at the moment, he knew that soon he wouldn't be around anymore.

He called him again, but his brother didn't answer.

" _Dammit! Now we won't find him"_

 _"_ _I'm not so sure about that. I tracked the call while you were talking. He's in Jericho"_

 _"_ _Oh Bobby! I could hug you right now!"_

 _"_ _We have to follow the GPS, and that will let us know where he exactly is "_

The men left the room without saying another word and headed towards the Impala. Now they were not that hopeless. They were going to save him and made him understand how important was Sam for them.

 **Author's note: Hey guys! How are ya?**

 **I want to thank CBloom2, Arwenadreamer, Doclover, SpnKsl5, TweetyRulz and Kandilyn for the awesome reviews!**

 **Also, a big thank you to all the new followers!**

 **This chapter specifically took me a long time! I don't know if it will be liked, so I need you to leave a review and tell me what do you think about it, please!**

 **I wanted to give Dean a little personal POV, since I have been focusing all the attention to Sam. So, I think that for now that's it. In few days I will upload the next chapter!**

 **Love ya!** **J**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I'm the king of doubt,  
I fight out all on the inside  
I'm the poster child of denial,  
There is nothing I can't hide  
I'm punching holes in walls because,  
I let them build up way too long, sabotage  
Everything I ever had,  
And now I'm seeing red but,  
There is no one else to blame but,  
The voices in my head

Wooh oh oooh this is world war me  
Wooh oh oooh I will never find peace  
I look into the mirror and I hate what I've become  
'Cause I'm the only casualty from damage that I've done  
I'm the only enemy in world war me

I know you tried to show me the light,  
I feed on the darkness  
I've lost control, I'm down in a hole,  
I'm broken and helpless  
The noose is getting tight,  
So tight, will I make it through the night  
It's time to surrender to myself  
And crawl out of this hell,  
The battle is in my head, there is nobody else

This is world war me  
I will never find peace  
I look into the mirror and I hate what I've become  
'Cause I'm the only casualty from damage that I've done  
I'm the only enemy in world war me

How do you runaway, when you're the enemy  
No, there is no way out,  
Nothing is gonna save me now

 **SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

 **Sam woke up dizzy and felling in pain. He opened his eyes and could not see anything by darkness and fire everywhere. He got up agitated and tried to find a way to get out of that place but after 10 minutes, he gave up. There was no way out. He was trapped. How did he end there anyways?**

 ** _"_** ** _Sam, You're finally awake!"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Dean. Why are you here?"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Yes. It's me. It's time for you to pay for all your mistakes. You are responsible for every woman and man crying scared right now. I am here because I had to. Not that I would come for you because I want to see your face. It makes me want to run away, just like you did like the coward you were and still are . I can see all the things that you have to say, but I'd rather not to listen to them. Not anymore "_**

 **With single move of his hands, "Dean" sent Sam to a sharp and hard wall made with rocks. Sam hit his head with it, seeing stars for the first minutes. When he found the strength to get up and thought that he was alright, fell in a pit that was on fire.**

 **Sam started screaming as the fire was consuming his skin and flesh. Soon enough, his whole body was burning and his screams were even louder than before. Satan (who took the shape of Dean) was laughing while watching Sam suffering, waiting for him to be almost dead before he would heal him again. He was going to destroy the human race slowly and painfully as payback. God and Michael had punished him even when they had seen the same things he saw. Humans were not going to be good. They were going to kill each other bloody, and even torture each other too! Wars were going to happen in the name of God, and that was not what capital G or any other angel would have wanted for them! Humans were the worst monsters, and that was clear.**

 **"** **Dean" closed his hands tightly and restored his prisoner back again. He was good as new!**

 ** _"_** ** _I am in hell, right? I'm sure that this is a dream"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Yes, but not in a normal place of hell. You are now in the Pit with me. This place is far away from the other jails where they torture people. That's how God wanted it to be. Unfortunately, yes too. This is just a dream for now, but don't worry, because I will find you. You are my roommate here until you'll wake up buddy"_**

 ** _"_** ** _You're not Dean"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Of course I am not!(Lucifer comes back to his normal shape) I thought that you were going to believe that I was Dean! It was funny, you know? You had to see your face when saw me as him! You're still sooo affected, don't you? You're like a two year old kid. I can't believe how dependent you two are… well. You couldn't live without each other and that brought problems for the world, but no for me. Since my big brother buried me here, I had dreamt every night with the sweet idea of killing him. Brothers, sisters… It doesn't matter which gender they are, or even how many of them are. Siblings just… ruin people's lives."_**

 ** _"_** ** _Don't talk about my brother, you don't get the right to do that. Siblings are not bad, or a curse. Having Dean was the best thing that happened to me. I grew up in this unhappy life, and he was the only reason why I didn't give up. He was the one that protected me from monsters and my father when I'd make a mistake"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Awww! That was almost… cute, like you humans say in these times. But see, if you think that what you just said will make me change my mind you are wrong. By the way, Sorry for making you burn, but you gave me no choice Sam. You have to listen to me"_**

 ** _"_** ** _I am tired, and the last thing I want to do is hear another word from you or anybody. I just need to be left alone right now"_**

 ** _"_** ** _You will listen to me, because this is not only about me, dumbass. I want to show you how we were destined to be together. This happened before you were born! You'll see! I didn't know how you were gonna look like, but you look better than I pictured you, I have to say."_**

 **Suddenly, both were in an old convent. St. Mary's convent, Sam recognized.**

 ** _"_** ** _Why did you bring me here? I know what happened there, so…"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Geez! You never shut up, do you? Wait and see. This is not about the beautiful and perfect moment when you freed me, which I'll have in my mind forever without a doubt of course. This is the beginning of all that lead you here with me"_**

 **A priest was on his knees looking at a dead nun laying on the floor with her eyes open. She was not the only one, though. They were at least 11 dead nuns, and it seemed like it had been a very painful death for most of them.**

 **Suddenly the nun that the man was looking and talking at took a deep desperate breath but did not move. It was obvious that the woman had been possessed by something, but he did not know what yet.**

 **"** **I have done what you asked me to. I killed all these people for you. They seem to believe in God, but not in the Devil. They deny you, my Lord"**

 **"** **You've done well, my son"**

 **"** **So, how do I bust you out of that cage? Let me help you!"**

 **"** **Lilith"**

 **"** **Lilith? She's trapped in the Pit. It won't be easy!"**

 **"** **Lilith. She will break the seals"**

 **"** **Alright. But, why do I do?"**

 **"** **You must find a child. A very special child"**

 **"** **What do you mean? What child?"**

 **Sam saw how the priest's eyes turned yellow and felt anger. Azazel had been commanded to do that by the Devil itself! Lucifer had caused all of it! The Devil cursed him, just to get out of the cage that he should still be in, rotting and burning for the rest of the eternity.**

 **"** ** _You son of a bitch. Because of you…"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Yes Sam. You were the one and only that could get me out of that stupid cage. I have been waiting a long time for you. I knew you were going to show up someday. I trusted Azazel. He was one of my favorite demons. Giving you his blood showed me his eternal loyalty, even when all of the things that I asked him to do got him killed. You know which year was when this happened? ... 1972. Mary Winchester was not even pregnant with your brother yet. She was just a hunter trying to escape from that life. Does that sound familiar to you, Sammy?"_**

 **Sam started walking towards the main door of the convent trying to find a way out of that dream (or nightmare, better said), but when he was about to open it , he found himself in the Pit again. He had to find some way to protect his dreams from Lucifer as soon as he'd wake up. He would not be able to resist any longer, and he could not die either, so that was all that was left for him. A life of eternal suffering.**

 **Sam closed his eyes, and when he opened them, Jessica, Mary and John were standing in front of him**

 **"** ** _Jess. I am sorry. This is my entire fault_** **"**

 ** _"_** ** _Since the moment I met you, I was condemned. You could have saved me. But you went with Dean, and even when you knew that those nightmares were weird, and you hadn't had them before in your entire life, you still left me to die! I died screaming! I didn't deserve to suffer! You're a killer, Sam! A killer!"_**

 ** _"_** ** _J… Jess (sob), please forgive me!... (sob) I love you"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Well, I don't love you. Not anymore. Now I am burning in hell because of you. Hell makes me feel so much hate and anger. I could have lived a normal life until the day I'd die. My dream was to have 3 children, be a happy wife and mom. "_**

 ** _"_** ** _Please, leave me alone Don't do this anymore! Pl…(sob)… Please!"_**

 ** _"_** ** _You don't get to have that, Sam. You are a monster. Since that demon cursed you, you were not my son anymore. Do you know how hard was it for me to know how messed up you were, and try not to kill you while you slept? I would have killed you, but Dean always looked out for you. He was a freaking wall that I couldn't pass through. "_**

 ** _"_** ** _I don't know why I decided to have another baby, Sam. I was fine with only one child. I got out of the hunting life. I had a kid, a husband and everything was perfect. But you ruined it! I died because of you Sam. Every time that I see your face I feel ashamed. My son, the kid that I gave life became a monster. The boy with the demon blood. I don't know how you can live with the weight of all the deaths over your shoulders. How many Christmas had Dean spent unhappy? How many birthdays John forgot because he was too busy trying to kill the demon that murdered me because you existed?"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Mom. I am sorry…(sob)… I really am. I should have died in our house that night, not you"_**

 ** _"_** ** _You're right, Sammy. You are just a pathetic man. You belong here, you know? You are nothing to me, nothing! You understand? You said that you wanted to have revenge. Kill the monster who killed our family. You didn't want to see that you were the monster the whole time"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Dee, don't say that to me. Not you! You mean everything to me! Even when I let you down"_**

 **The figures started walking towards him, now with knifes and blades. They stabbed him, and he bled slowly, hearing how all of them laughed and smiled.**

Sam woke up from his dream with tears on his face, and saw that the bullets on his legs were still there. It made sense, because he hadn't died. Lucifer would only revive him if he died. Sam removed the bullets of his leg and stopped the bleeding. He didn't have a first aid kit, and he regretted that. Holding onto an old broken table, finally got up and drank some apple juice that he had bought in a moment of weakness (but he didn0t drink it) to feel a little better. After half an hour, decided his next move feeling pain with every step he took. He had to go to a library and search for a way to protect his mind, so Lucifer wouldn't bother him anymore (he deserved Lucifer by the way. Deep inside he hoped that the fallen angel would keep torturing him. It felt nice to feel pain. He felt alive, because pain it was all that he had by that point).

He took his cellphone and saw more missed calls from his brother. He was going to brake it when a voice mail notification appeared on the screen. It was from Bobby. He put the mobile phone against his ear and listened to it

 **"** **Listen to me son. You have to understand that I didn't mean what I said. I know that Dean said this already, but we are just pissed. I could never kill you, and I would save you a thousand more times, if I could go back. You need to contact your brother or me. Don't do anything stupid boy, because we need you"**

He deleted the message trying to forget what Bobby said, and before he could hang up, Dean's voicemail started again.

" **Listen to me you blood sucking freak, dad said I either had to save you or kill you. Well, I am giving you a fair warning; I'm done trying to save you. You're a monster Sam, a vampire. You're not you anymore, and there's no going back"**

Sam's heart broke again while hearing the message. However, at the same time felt relieve hearing his brother's voice. It seemed that he hadn't heard it in a lifetime, and damn, he even missed the times when his brother called him "Sammy" with affection. He would put an "I am done with that old crap nickname" face, but now he would give everything to hear that or a "Are you ok?". Dean was not a big fan of chick- flick moments, but when he agreed to talk about his feelings, or the things that were going on inside his mind, he could be even more emotional than him. He'd been actually surprised when Dean talked to him about what bothered him (when he still trusted him), after he came back from Hell, or when John died.

When the message ended, he left his phone on the bloody floor and headed out of the building. He had to find a way to keep Lucifer out of his head, and it had to be now.

 **Author's Note** **: Hey guys! I know that it's been a long time since the last update, but I am finally free from college for few weeks!**

 **As always, thank you to the new followers and TweetyRulz, Doclover, DarknessToMySoul17 for the awesome reviews!**

 **Thank you arwenadreamer for the great idea that you gave me! I hope that you like this chapter, and thank you for all the support!**

 **If you like it, please review! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did writing it!** **J**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 _The road is long  
With many a winding turn  
That leads us to who knows where  
Who knows where  
But I'm strong  
Strong enough to carry him  
He ain't heavy, he's my brother_

 _So on we go  
His welfare is of my concern  
No burden is he to bear  
We'll get there_

 _For I know  
He would not encumber me  
He ain't heavy, he's my brother _

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

After many hours of driving, Bobby and Dean stopped in front of the place where Sam (maybe) was. The sun was long gone, and he was cold and hungry as hell, but none of that mattered anymore. He was one-step away from Sam.

" _If that son of a bitch is dead I am going to revive just to kill him with my own hands"_

 _"_ _Dean, STOP. Now is the time where we get out of this car and we go find the idjit of your brother"_

 _"_ _I feel like my body can't move"_

 _"_ _That's called fear, son. But fear was not meant to be felt by hunters. We are stronger than any other man or woman out there"_

 _"_ _I know"_

 _"_ _Well, now... Get your frigging ass off that sit or I'll make you get up"_

Bobby and Dean took their guns and flashlights before they approached near the old house. When Dean saw it, felt how the past hit him without any kind of preparation. That was the house where Constance, the Woman in White lived. That had been the first case that he had worked with his brother when they were looking for their father. Inside his mind "appeared" a picture of a younger Sam, with long bangs and a happier smile (When was the last time that his brother smiled? He really didn't want to know the answer. Not really). He remembered that hunt like it was yesterday. He went to Stanford while singing "Highway to Hell" at the top of his lungs excited to see his brother for the first time in two years, and worried because his father was missing. John had not answered a single call, and that was not normal in their lives. He had seen his brother from a safe distance for the first two years, and one day he got hurt and he was the nearest person that he had had by the time to avoid the whole bleeding out and dying thing. Sam took care of his injuries, offered him the couch (he wasn't with Jess yet), and went to his room that he shared with his roommate saying "Good Night Jerk". He left as soon as the sun raised and when Sam woke up, he was just gone. For the next two years, he kept looking at him, but he had not talked to him since then. Every time that he'd get drunk, took his cellphone and almost dialed his little brother's number, moments later trying to find a way to distract himself to avoid that. He had decided every time that he really didn't want to do that, because maybe it was better that way. All that he wished was to hear his voice, just a simple fucking "Hi", for God's sake! He remembered wondering if Sam's voice had gotten deeper, or if he was still working out, as he loved. During that time, he felt his brother like a stranger. He never called, NEVER. Dean wondered if college had done that to him, but he knew that that was not why he was uncommunicated. Sam had gotten out of the life that he hated so much, and he was with his college friends happy. Sam had been happy, and the frigging night that he showed up everything changed. Sam was kicked out of his sweet apple pie life (that he wished his brother still could have, even if that meant being away from him forever) by the yellow-eyed Demon to come back. Maybe if he hadn't showed up Sam could have found a way to save Jessica and he would still be happy…

 _"_ _Dean!... Dean!"_

 _"_ _What? I am here"_

 _"_ _Yeah. One second ago you were lost inside your mind. We need to focus on this, and then if you want to, you can go back and look like a patient of a Psychiatrist"_

 _"_ _Sorry Bobby. It's just that in this house Sam and me worked on a case"_

 _"_ _Let's get moving Dean"_

Both men walked and being careful walked through the broken porch that his "Baby"(Impala) broke long time ago. There were rats and insects everywhere. Was Sam really there? That was a new low, even for him. He'd never stay in a place like that one, not even to sit down for a minute.

" _Did you hear that? It sounded like steps"_

 _"_ _Maybe a dog is around. I can barely hear them. Sam has big feet. There's no way that that giant man like him could walk like a ballerina dancer"_

 _"_ _I don't know. But soon we'll find out anyways"_

They decided to split up, and Bobby went upstairs with a gun and a flashlight on his hands. If someone that was not Sam was there, he had to be ready. The first room that he visited looked like a children's room. Two little beds were broken, and they were dolls (really creepy dolls) and cars everywhere. He did not think that Sam could sleep or stay in that room. He looked in the bathroom and found the same answer. He was now nervous, because he needed to find that boy now. He needed to save him, to make things right.

He was about to go to the last room of the second floor when his cellphone started to ring.

" _Balls. Who's calling me right now?"_

A hunter, Rufus, called him to let him now that some sort of demonic activity was killing people in Denver, Colorado.

 _"_ _I am busy right now, dammit! You haven't talked to me in what… 4 years?... I can't talk right now… You are a big boy now, Rufus. You don't need my help… No. It's my last word… Bye Rufus"_

Bobby cursed in low voice and heard more footsteps inside the locked room.

 _"_ _Clear downstairs"_

 _"_ _Balls, boy!. You almost gave me a heart attack! Can you at least make a sound?"_

 _"_ _Sorry Bobby. I didn't mean to scare you like that. You act like a frigging princess, let me tell you that"_

 _"_ _Don't talk to me like that. I've been in this business before you were even born boy. I think that I deserve some respect"_

 _"_ _Anyways, have you found something?"_

 _"_ _I was about to enter inside this room. It's the last one, and I heard footsteps inside"_

 _"_ _Let's get over with this for once Bobby"_

Dean kicked the door and both men watched how a man was with a gun pointed at them. The man was thin and his long hair covered his face. However, Dean would recognize him everywhere. That man was Sam!

 _"_ _Sam"_

 _"_ _Get away from me. You have played this game before, but being awake? This is new"_

 _"_ _What are you talking about? We came here to help you, little brother! Please put the gun down. Anybody needs to be hurt"_

 _"_ _Quit the acting thing. I know what Dean thinks of me and you know those things too. This is stupid, even for you"_

 _"_ _Boy, listen to me. I am bobby"_

 _"_ _Shut the hell up right now! Go away from here! Leave me alone!"_

Sam directed the gun towards his temple, and started sobbing. Dean and Bobby would never come for him, period. Lucifer had found him, but he was not going to let him possess him. Even if he would have to kill himself, time after time. He was sure that Dean would have done the same, so he had to the right thing.

 _"_ _Sammy, put the gun down, please! We can help you. I am sorry for the things you heard. Those awful things were not true! I am begging you, put the gun down and come with us. We can give you everything you need!"_

 _"_ _I am not gonna fall for that, Lucifer. You don't have what I need. The only person that I need hates me now, and there is no going back. STOP FUCKING PRETENDING!"_

 _"_ _Sam, listen to me! I am not Lucifer. Bobby's not Lucifer. We are your family. I don't understand what's going on, but I need you to see that we are here to get you home!"_

 _"_ _I don't think so"_

Dean saw the determinate look in Sam, and knew that he was going to do something stupid. He started running towards him, but before he could get the gun out of his hands, heard a gunshot. He saw how the bullet entered inside Sam's temple, and how the blood was now all over the floor and also on his brother's face. He just couldn't believe it. His brother, Sammy, killed himself, and everything was his fault.

" _Sam…(sob)… Sammy please wake up brother! I need you Sammy!"_

 _"_ _Son…"_

 _"_ _No! I know what you're gonna say! It is my fault, my damn fault! I did this to him, and now he's dead Bobby, dead!"_

Dean just kept sobbing and hugging his lifeless brother's body, wishing that the situation would be just a dream. Three years ago, he was just like that, hugging his dead brother, but because some son of a bitch killed him in his birthday. Now, obviously, everything was different. . He was alone in the world (again) just because he didn't see or think that things that he did while trying to find Sam. Bobby and him took Sam's body and with a blanket, placed it in the backseat. His skin was now cold and his lips were blue. He knew that soon he'd have to decide what to do with his body. Salt and burn it or bury it. But for now he was going to the same he did when Sam died for the first time, get a mattress where he could lay his brother on, and drink everything he could. He didn't care about the world anymore, because his whole world was gone, now that his broken and lifeless little brother was not around him anymore.

 **Author's Note** **: Hey guys! So, what do you think about this chapter? Let me know!**

 **By the way, Sam is going to be revived, so don't worry about him.**

 **And yes, I know that Sam in the first eps of season 5 had shorter hair, but in this fic he has long hair.**

 **Thank you for the reviews and follows! I love you guys! Enjoy** **J**

 **Until next time!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 _Ramblers in the wilderness we can't find what we need  
We get a little restless from the searching  
Get a little worn down in between  
Like a bull chasing the matador is the man left to his own schemes  
Everybody needs someone beside em' shining like a lighthouse from the sea_

 _Brother let me be your shelter  
Never leave you all alone  
I can be the one you call  
When you're low  
Brother let me be your fortress  
When the night winds are driving on  
Be the one to light the way  
Bring you home_

 _Face down in the desert now there's a cage locked around my heart  
I found a way to drop the keys where my failures were  
Now my hands can't reach that far  
I ain't made for a rivalry, I could never take the world alone  
I know that in my weakness I am stronger  
It's your love that brings me home_

 _And when you call and need me near  
Sayin' where'd you go?  
Brother, I'm right here  
And on those days when the sky begins to fall  
You're the blood of my blood  
We can get through it all_

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

4 HOURS AFTER SAM'S DEATH…

Dean was in another unknown motel room that needed to be painted and have new furniture, but even if he had thought about that as soon as he entered inside the room, didn't say it out loud. He wouldn't say it either, because the only one who ever had heard him say that was Sam, and he was gone now.

The older Winchester was sitting in the closest bed to the door, as always, staring at the still and cold body of his brother. His skin was white as a sheet, and his legs were bloody and hurt. When he died, he inspected the wounds, and knew that those had been made by gunshots. Had someone shot him? Or… No. He would not think about that. He didn't want to think that. He was still reliving inside his mind the moment when Sam looked at him with that broken look, and moments later shot himself. He was sure that Sam had caused almost all the harm on his body. The broken ribs were probably the result of a fight, and it was clear that he had not defended himself against the person or thing that attacked him.

The silence was killing him, and all that he wanted was a beer to forget that now, he was alone. On the other hand, Bobby was not making the grieving process easier. He shut his mouth when he told him to, but his eyes said everything that his mouth couldn't. The old man went to pick up some food, or at least that was what he had said to him. He didn't know how many hours had passed since he left the room, but he couldn't care a less.

He didn't want to eat. Food wouldn't make things better. Not even the most delicious pie in the entire world. He wanted to die, and every fiber on his body wanted to find a way to bring Sam back, even if he already knew that it'd be useless.

 _"_ _Dean. I am back"_

 _"…"_

 _"_ _Dean, come on. You've been there for hours. I can tell that you have not moved from that bed. Get those legs moving. I bought you a hamburger, the one you love. Also, I bought French fries and Pepsi"_

 _"_ _Why do you care? Huh? Sam's dead, Bobby. If he doesn't need food, me neither. Leave me alone"_

 _"_ _Boy, you are alive, and I know how it feels to be dead inside, but you have to carry on. You and me need to stop the apocalypse. That is what Sam would have wanted for us"_

 _"_ _I don't care about what Sam would have wanted! I don't care about anything or anyone, not anymore! Don't you understand that? I let my brother down, when I swore that I would protect him! You know what I said few years ago to him? I said that as long as I would be around, nothing bad was gonna happen to him. I let him down, again"_

 _"_ _Dean. When I lost my wife, I thought the same thing you do now. But life goes on, and you know that Sam is not coming back. You need to see that, and slowly build a path that you can walk through. You need to fight for him, because Sam would have done the same thing. Actually, he did. He didn't know the future consequences, but he kept hunting and trying to kill Lilith while you were in hell. He felt the same way. He was as broken as you are right now. When you died we had to bury you, and he kneeled and cried for hours in front of your grave boy. He stood there for five hours and when I told him that we had to go he just looked at me in silence and opened a bottle of Jack Daniels. I left him there because he wouldn't leave you. At the next day he came to my house and started talking about you, the things that you did for him. He became the man that he needed to be, because you told him to keep fighting"_

 _"_ _I can't do that. Sam's stronger than me. He had the strength to keep fighting, and he knew I was going to die. I did not know that he was going to kill himself. I don't know what do to Bobby. I need him…(sob)"_

 _"_ _I know Dean. But it is time to say goodbye. People are gonna freak out if we keep Sam's body in this motel for more than one day. You know why I said that"_

 _"_ _Not now Bobby. Please, can you stay with him for a moment? I need some air"_

 _"_ _Sure thing boy"_

Dean didn't know where he was heading, but he needed to walk away from that room or he would freak out. Unconsciously, walked towards a bar that was near and drank everything he could. At some point he could barely stand, but ran outside to threw up all the contents of his stomach. He had a headache that didn't let him think or reason where the motel was, so he just sat in the grass seeing how some drunk people started leaving the bar almost falling to the ground laughing and some were walking inside it.

The sun was up when he heard from far away a familiar voice. He didn't understand what the voice was saying, and for a moment he thought it was Sam waking him up to go to a hunt. As soon as he opened his eyes closed them again. It was too bright, and his headache was still bothering him. He couldn't think straight.

" _Dean, Come on"_

 _"_ _Sammy?"_

" _I_ _t's me, Bobby_ "

" _Bobby, Where's Sammy?_ "

" _Come here son. Let's go to the motel. You need a bath and some coffee"_

As Bobby was supporting his weight and leading him to the motel, he remembered everything. He had felt better forgetting about it, and he'd do that again.

Bobby opened the door and guided him to the empty bed of the room. His eyes searched for his brother's corpse, but he saw that the body had been covered by the sheets of the bed.

He didn't ask why Bobby did that, because he already knew the answer. It was easier to look at the hidden body, not seeing how what was left of Sam was slowly fading, and he was also losing time to stay with him. It was better that way.

He took a nap, and when he woke up saw that Bobby had left a note. It said "Dean: I'm going to buy some coffee for you and me. If you wake up before I am there, please take a bath idjit. I meant what I said when I found you passed out on the street. You stink! Bobby"

Dean picked up some fresh and clean clothes that his brother took to wash not too long ago, and decided that as soon as he'd be clean, was going to uncover Sam's body to see him. It was an unnecessary pain, but that was the only way that he could feel that his brother was dead. Any other way, he'd go out there looking for him. He needed that pain to survive.

20 minutes later, he opened the bathroom door and saw that Sam's body was no longer where it had been. He was sure that Bobby took his body to salt and burn it, but when he called his name pissed, the old man wasn't there.

Dean walked outside and saw that the impala was there, so Bobby was near. He was not the kind of man that would walk if he had a car. Bobby had never been like that, even when he had lived with his deceased wife Karen.

" _Dean! I need some help here!"_

 _"_ _Bobby? Where are you?"_

 _"_ _Here idjit! Now!"_

The older Winchester followed the voice of the hunter, and found that he was holding Sam, who was trying to run away

" _What the hell is happening right now?"_

 _"_ _Can we Q &A later Dean?!"_

Dean knocked "Sam" out and both men dragged him to the motel room again. They thought that it was a monster at first, but after trying with the silver knife on his skin, and pouring holy water on him knew that it was not a normal creature.

 _"_ _I don't understand Bobby. He's not a demon, a shapeshifter or anything we know. I swear that I am gonna kill the sun of a bitch that pretends to be him"_

 _"_ _Hold on son. We need to tie him up. We need to know what he is"_

 _"_ _Yeah. If this thing does not wake up in ten minutes I am going to kill it without any questions asked"_

 _"_ _You won't do that. What if we find a new kind of creature? I know it hurts to see somebody that looks like him, but_ we need him"

" _It"_

"What?"

"We need it. It's not him. That thing's not Sam"

Bobby and Dean sat on the cheap chairs that were next to the old and unstable table for fifteen minutes, when they heard a groan from "Sam"

 _"_ _Finally"_

 _"_ _Let's get over with this. I need a drink or two"_

 _"_ _What? What am I doing here? You are not real"_

 _"_ _Stop! What are you? We've tried everything, and you didn't even flinched! I am going to kill you, you freaking son of a bitch!"_

 _"_ _I am not a monster. I am Sam"_

 _"_ _Look, I know that Sam was dead. We searched for him and when we finally found him he killed himself. Don't make me hurt you"_

 _"_ _Bobby? Is that you? You found me? So you were real. Lucifer has not found me yet"_

 _"_ _Lucifer? What the hell are you talking about? Let's just kill him Bobby. He's not my brother"_

 _"_ _I am Sam, okay? You have to believe me, please! I left you because you'll be happier without me screwing things. You should not have found me. I am back because Lucifer told me that he'd just revive me If I kill myself"_

 _"_ _The fallen angel Lucifer? Are you really back boy?"_

 _"_ _Yes, Bobby. I am Sam. I am back. It doesn't matter how hard I try, he keeps bringing me back. I am useless, even to end my life"_

 _"_ _Sammy? Oh my God. I… You…"_

 _"_ _Dean. I am sorry… (sob)… I let you down and I am so sorry"_

Dean ran and hugged his brother, feeling how his heart was beating again, and temperature was coming back to normal. It didn't matter what brought Sam back. He was even thankful. Sammy was back.

" _Sammy. I am so glad you're here. We need to talk little brother. I am here for you. I will never let you leave again, understand? I'll kick that ass of yours if you even think about doing that stupid move again"_

Silence filled the room again, and this time, Dean was crying because he was happy, happier than ever. He was not alone anymore.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey guys! I know that I should have updated this fic a long time ago, but my grandfather passed away a week ago and I couldn't find the creativity and strength to sit and write. However, here I am! I am still sad, but I find myself happier if I write. If you can leave me a review to let me know what you think about this chapter. See ya soon!** **J**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 _As a child you would wait  
And watch from far away.  
But you always knew that you'd be the one  
That work while they all play._

 _In youth you'd lay  
Awake at night and scheme  
Of all the things that you would change,  
But it was just a dream!_

 _Here we are, don't turn away now,  
We are the warriors that built this town  
From dust._

 _When you'll have to rise  
Above the best and prove yourself,  
Your spirit never dies!_

 **SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

TWO WEEKS LATER…

Sam covered his face with a pillow to avoid the sun that announced another day of hunting evil things and trying to survive the end of the world. The past two weeks had been… interesting, he could say.

After Dean told him his version of his rescue, he cried a lot more and stared at brother, and the surprising thing was that Dean didn't give him the typical sign of "enough of this chick-flick moment"

Bobby eventually went home, and the Winchester brothers remained in a deep silence, in which both found themselves unable to replace with words.

It seemed that Dean had forgiven him, but there was a part of Sam that suspected that his brother, deep inside, hadn't forgiven him in a hundred percent. Making such a big mistake was something hard to digest, and he'd have to live forever with that if he couldn't solve it. He wouldn't have invited him back if it wasn't for his evident suicide attempts. If he could go back, he wouldn't have sent that stupid letter. Dean deserved better, and he had screwed up everything again. Dean was, or maybe pretended, to be alright with him. He felt the undeserved trust of him in every hunt, and sometimes he had even let him take some demons by himself without the warning look that said "Don't drink demon blood again". Maybe it was just him, but his guilt didn't let him find his place in the team that he belonged to, along with Dean and, sometimes, Castiel.

When he checked the hour, saw that it was 07:45 AM. He looked at the bed next to his, and saw that Dean was there, still fully dressed. His older brother told him that he would go drink some beers and chat with a girl called Camille. Before he closed the door, said, "Don't wait up Sammy", and the younger Winchester just smiled at him.

Sam got up and almost fell to the ground because of an empty beer bottle. He cursed in silence, but decided to help his brother feel more comfortable taking his boots off. He could take the jeans off too. Both had done that for each other in different times that they had been wasted or hurt, though now, it seemed out of place. Sam was different, and so was his brother. He was the trouble. However, he would make things right. He was going to take the Devil down or die trying. He let the damn thing free, and he was going to be the one to put it back into the cage. Dean thought that that was on them, but actually, it was only on him. That weight on his shoulders was getting heavier as the days went by. Dean might have broken the first seal, but he had been in hell back then. He couldn't blame him. Sam was sure that he would have done the same thing after 30 years of torture. All of that was meant to happen after all. He was destined to go dark side just like his father said to his brother. Damn angels and damn demons! Demons, he could understand, but angels? Angels were dicks.

He still couldn't believe that he was not the owner of his own fate. He was just a freaking puppet.

He was not stronger than his brother was, and being drugged by Ruby showed how stupid and weak he was. He would never be that man again. He was Sam Winchester. He was a hunter. Sam was going to make everything better for the world and his older sibling. He had to do it.

" _S'm"_

 _"_ _Dean. You should rest. It's too early to be awake"_

 _"_ _Don't scream. My head hurts like hell"_

 _"_ _I'm not screaming. I am going to bring some coffee and donuts, ok?"_

 _"_ _I need coffee. Lots of coffee"_

 _"_ _Yeah dude, I know"_

Taking the Impala's keys as he walked to the door, laughed at Dean's face. He had lipstick all around his cheeks. He must have had a fun night, Sam figured.

When he parked the car to buy coffee, saw a very familiar man. He had blonde hair, blue eyes and marks all over his face. He knew him, and after a second remembered the visits of Lucifer to his dreams while sleeping.

The young hunter excused himself to the people on the line that looked at him with tired and angry faces. He had to get out of there right now. This was not a dream. Lucifer had finally found him.

The Devil started walking slowly towards with a smile of victory and satisfaction as he ran through the busy streets. After forty minutes, he found himself in an empty alley breathing heavily.

He checked his cell phone and saw ten lost calls from Dean. He had been out for an hour already, and his brother knew that probably something was odd was happening to him. Dean had always felt when he was in danger. Both had. It was not beyond a normal brothers bonding. They were one person, not two in the times that they needed each other, they knew and understood each other without needing words.

Sam called him, and a second later, the angry and scared voice of his brother made him feel a little bit better.

" _Sam! Where the hell are you? I've been calling you and you don't answer the damn phone!"_

 _"_ _D'n… Lucifer…"_

 _"_ _What about Lucifer? Talk to me"_

 _"_ _He… found me. Dean…"_

 _"_ _Where are you?"_

 _"_ _I don't know"_

 _"_ _Turn your GPS locator and be safe Sammy"_

Dean ended the call before he could answer, but a different voice distracted him moments later as he finished turning the locator on.

" _Poor little Sammy! You've always needed your big bro, right? You are just a giant baby"_

 _"_ _Get away from me!"_

 _"_ _You know what I want Sam. I am getting tired"_

 _"_ _I'll never say it"_

The Devil lifted his hand and sent him straight to the wall. He couldn't move and barely breathe as the pressure on his body and throat were increasing _._

 _"_ _Do I have to really torture you to get what I want? I really don't care though"_

 _"_ _You can do…. whatever you want to me. You kn… know the answer"_

 _"_ _You know what I am going to do? I am going to wait until Dean is here, and I am going to kill him"_

 _"_ _I won't…. let… you do… that"_

 _"_ _Do you think that you, little sack of meat, can stop one of the most ancient and powerful creatures in the story of earth?"_

 _"_ _I'll… try"_

 _"_ _HEY!"_

Lucifer turned around and saw Dean. He smiled as Sam was about to pass out. What the fallen angel didn't see was the angel banishing sigil on the wall. His smile disappeared, while Sam fell to the floor unconscious.

When the fallen angel was gone, Dean ran to where Sam was. He felt his brother's pulse beneath his fingers and felt how his soul came back to his body. Sam was fine considering that the events could have been worse. Sam was going to be just fine.

Dean carried his heavy brother to the stole car that he drove, until he found the Impala. Once his brother was in the backseat, bought some coffee and food for them. Sam was going to need those things to get his strength back.

Two hours later, his brother woke up and the older Winchester explained what had happened. Dean saw how scared Sam was, but he knew that he wouldn't say it. It wasn't necessary though. He could read the kid like an open book.

" _Dean. He's found me"_

 _"_ _It doesn't matter, because he won't be able to touch you. I will make sure of that. If he bothers you again, I am gonna kick his wingless ass"_

 _"_ _Thank you Dee"_

 _"_ _It's my job, right. I have to look out for my little brother"_

Both men drank their coffees and ate their donuts while "watching TV". Sam was still in shock, and Dean was looking at him every five seconds. He felt how distant his brother had been since they reunited, but now Sam was letting him in. Those walls that "protected him against him" were gone, and Dean could see everything that the kid was hiding. He was insecure, and even still uncomfortable because of what had happened before between them. He had forgiven him, and there was nothing that he wouldn't do for his brother. He was going to help Sam always and forever, or die trying.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE** **: HEY GUYS! LONG TIME NO SEE. I WASN'T INSPIRED TO WRITE, SO I TOOK MY TIME. THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE LAST ONE, SO GET READY! THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE THAT YOU'VE GIVEN ME ALL THESE TIME. I LOVE YA GUYS** **J**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 _Some legends are told  
Some turn to dust or to gold  
But you will remember me  
Remember me, for centuries_

 **SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN**

TEN MONTHS LATER…

 _PRESENT DAY_

Dean stared with his good eye at the Devil itself, that was wearing his brother while it was hitting him like a damn punching bag. Few ribs were broken, his left eye was swollen, and a significant amount of blood was coming out of his mouth as he tried to talk with Sam.

"S'mmy, 'm here"

"Sammy's not here now, remember?"

The Devil hit his face again, and Dean felt how a tooth broke loose. He could punch back, and make the fight a little equal, but he just couldn't touch a single hair of Sammy's head. It was not Sam the one that was hurting him after all. Sam would never do that and neither would he.

He had promised the kid that he was going to protect him and never hurt him, breaking that promise when Sam started the apocalypse. Sam had to run away from him, kill himself right in front of his own two eyes, and come back from the dead to explain him the plan that Lucifer had, for him to understand that he had to be he brother that he promised to be.

"'m s'rry S'm"

(PUNCH)

(PUNCH)

"HEY! ASSBUT!"

Lucifer, still holding Dean by his leather jacket, turned around and saw Castiel standing few feet away from him.

"Brother, what a surprise! I didn't know that Dean brought more company than the old dead man"

"Let Dean go!"

"I let him go when Sam said yes! I told Sammy that I was going to let him live as long as he wouldn't bother my plans brother! Dean-o came back, so I have no choice but to kill him. I am waiting for my brother to come back because… What was his name?... oh yeah!... Bobby burned him, and sent him away with holy fire!"

"I have no choice than hurting you this time then. I am sorry son", said Bobby, that had been brought back by the angel Castiel while Lucifer was "having his fun" with Dean.

"I must say that you won't stop me, you hairless monkey. I have to fight with Michael, but before that I will break all your bones, one by one!"

When the fallen angel stopped talking(With Sammy's voice), Bobby could focus and closed his eyes as he pulled the trigger of the Colt, and shot the young man that he loved like a son. He had never had children, but he never considered that important until John asked him to take care of the boys while he was gone. Sam and Dean seemed to love him like an uncle, so John started to trust the old hunter with his kids, that in a future would consider him their "real" fatherly figure. For Bobby, John had been a good father, but he lost himself in his job to be able to understand his sons. One day Dean called him "Dad", and got shy instantly. He just smiled and felt more alive than he had ever felt, not saying anything to the kid. They'd never called him "Sir", because he was not their boss, he was their best friend and partner in crimes when some hunt went wrong. At the end of the every single day, if Bobby needed to have a reason to keep living, remembered that Sam and Dean Winchesters were practically his boys, but at the moment he had to end one of them for good. It hurt like hell, and he wouldn't have done that if Sam hadn't asked him to.

Bobby and Cass watched how Lucifer let Dean fall to the ground, barely conscious and bleeding everywhere, because of the unimaginable pain caused by the bullet. The hunter hadn't known if the Colt was going to work, but there was nothing to lose already. He was ready to shot the Devil again, this time in the head, when he heard Sam call his name, and knew that his boy was back, at least for now.

"Son. You have to jump to the Pit before it takes control again", said, knowing that unfortunately, those words would follow him until the day he died.

"I know… I… am sorry Bobby", said Sam with teary eyes. He got up and took the rings off his jacket's pocket. He was not ready, but he had to be. Everything would be over soon.

Sam looked at his brother that was on the ground and his not swollen eye was staring at him, or trying to, better said. He had a concussion, but he'd be okay eventually. Even if he wasn't the one that hurt him, felt responsible. The blood on his knuckles was still fresh and his hand was hurting. He'd screamed to the fallen angel to stop while it hit his brother, trying to take control of his body until his strength faded and was an slave on his own body. The darkness welcomed him but Bobby saved his brother when he shot him. Any other way Lucifer would have killed his brother and that, would be his worst torture.

He said the words that activated the rings power once the object was on the ground, and saw how the everything that was beneath it fell through the big black hole that led to the Pit. He had to jump there, and would be lying if he said that he wasn't freaking out.

Sam closed his eyes and almost let himself fall when Michael, using Adam's vessel, screamed at him. He had no idea of what to do, but moments later his "geeky brain", as Dean would say, thought an idea that was going to work.

"Come and get me you son of a bitch!", screamed Sam as he saw that Michael started running towards him

"I have to fight with my brother Sam! It's my destiny!", said the angel desperate

He didn't say anything and waited for him to get close enough. Once he could touch him, grabbed him by his arm and holding him a tight grip, closed his eyes and jumped.

 _THREE DAYS AGO…_

Sam was sitting against the hood of the Impala as the afternoon started to fade away to welcome a very cold night. After working on a case with Bobby, Dean and Cass, he talked to his brother about his plan to defeat the Devil forever. Dean, being the protector big brother that he was, told him that he wouldn't do it, because he was not going to allow him. He had always feared his brother when he used his military voice that was similar to their father, so he decided to wait few more days before he would talk to him about his plan again. More people were dying, and the world was really ending those days. It was now or never, because they were running of time. Sam knew that he had the right to do whatever he wanted if he wanted to, but since he was a little boy always followed his brother's commands and waited for his approval. He was so stupid to do the same thing in a situation like the one he was living right now!

There was no other way or person than him to stop Lucifer, and somehow it made sense. He had started everything, so he had to end it jumping to the Pit.

"Hey Sammy", said Dean, pulling him from his thoughts almost instantly

"Dean, what are you doing here?"

"Could be asking the same question to you man. I've been looking for you for the past half an hour. You scared me", said Dean looking at the floor, so Sam wouldn't look at him. He had never liked to talk about his feelings(even the minor ones), because he was a man, and a strong man was strong and sharp. John taught him that, and even years after his father was gone, he couldn't change his mind.

"Where could I go? I have nowhere to run this time Dean", said Sam

"Anyways, I talked to Bobby and…. I've decided that even if your plan is awful, I'll let you do it"

"Really? Just like that? You were freaking out yesterday", said Sam surprised, while "reading" Dean's body expressions. He was nervous and… scared.

"Yes. I am not going to lie to you though. Every fiber on my body tells me that your decision is wrong. I don't know if it is because I am a big brother or what… but I've always seen you like a child that needed to be under my bow and arrow to be safe, you know? You always asked for my opinions and everything changed when I came back from hell"

"Dean…", said the younger Winchester not wanting to hear what he was probably going to mention.

"Let me talk, okay? I don't blame you for doing everything you've done. I'd have done the very same thing being without my pain in the ass little brother for four months or even a day. If I reacted like that it was because I was scared of losing you. I thought that the Sam that I knew was dead, but you proved me wrong. You are my little brother and I'll always trust you…. So, I am going to let you jump to the damn Pit"

"Thank you Dean", said Sam with his teary eyes

"But if I let you, you have to be really sure about that. It is not a damn visit to Disneyland and you know that", said the elder Winchester, maybe hoping that Sam would change his mind

"I know that. I have no choice Dean"

"You have choice Sam. You can be safe here with us!", responded the hunter almost shouting

"I am the one that let him free Dean. It's my job to lock him up again. I am going to die, but because I have to, and I have a chance to say goodbye this time… I want you to promise me something", said Sam now crying and looking at his brother

"Whatever you want", replied Dean instantly seeing his brother's puppy dog eyes

"You have to promise me that you won't try to bring me back", said Sam, expecting Dean's explosive reaction after he said that.

"You can't expect me to let you stay forever downstairs Sam! Your hell will be much worse than mine or anything than any hunter had known!"

"It's too risky Dean. Once… If… I can ice the Devil, opening the door of the cage again could end up pretty bad. A lot of people died during these months, and I can't allow that again", said Sam using his serious voice.

" So what the hell am I supposed to do then, huh? I won't be able to live knowing that you are burning in hell!"

"You'll have to. Go find Lisa and Ben. I want you to have a not miserable life for once Dean"

"I… I'll try Sam. I am going to try, I promise", said Dean knowing that he had no choice than letting the person that he loved the most go away forever.

"Thank you and… I've got something for you", said Sam smiling at him

Dean stopped breathing for a second when he saw that the thing that he had to give him was the amulet. He threw it away in a moment of anger and disappointment, not regretting the act for few days or even weeks . He had done that to hurt his brother, and for his stupid success, it accomplished its objective. Sam didn't talk like he used to for the entire trip, and only answered when he really had to. However, those days were gone, but the guilt had been still there.

"Sam… You… picked it from the trash can?", asked Dean not knowing what do. His whole body was in shock

"Yes. I didn't know why, but I felt that I had to. It took me few months, but now I know why"

"Why?"

"Because if I succeed and jump there, you won't be all alone. I know that you will be a mess, but I will be here for you. This will sound chick-flick, but I don't care. If someday you miss me more than usual, think that I am watching over you. It helped me when I was wearing it while you were in hell", explained Sam seeing how Dean let his mask go and showed his emotions.

"I shouldn't have trashed it Sam. I am sorry for that, and everything else"

"You don't have to say sorry man. Just… shut your princess mouth and wear the damn thing", said Sam smiling. He knew his brother, so he just wanted him to stop feeling uncomfortable. He loved the chick-flick moment though

"I am not a princess, but you are", said Dean smiling back at him

When Sam gave the amulet to him, felt the familiar weight beneath his hand. Sam had kept it for more than three months and now he trusted him again, because any other way he wouldn't be giving him that to him. Once he put it on, felt complete. He was not going to tell Sam this, but once he'd be gone, (because he was going to succeed for sure. No one knew how strong and perseverant his little brother could be), he was going to keep safe the amulet like it was Sam's heart. Maybe Sam was right, and having the object would make him miss him less. He was missing him right now, and his kid brother was not even gone yet.

"Boys! You have to come here right now!", shouted Bobby from the porch of his house

"Coming!", shouted Sam in response watching how his brother was already heading towards there.

Bobby waited until the boys walked inside the living room and showed them what was going on. The TV was on and a woman was talking on live, while some people on the street behind her were running desperate because of the heavy rain and strong wind.

Sam didn't know why that was different from the usual news, but everything changer when he heard the word "Detroit", coming out of the reporter's mouth.

"The devil's there", said Dean and Sam at the same time

"Yes. We have to act fast now that he know where the damn thing is", explained Bobby

"Yes. I… I need to be ready to face him", said Sam looking at his brother, knowing that he'd understand what he was trying to say

"We need to find some demons Bobby. Sam needs… their blood to be strong enough to face the Devil and win"

"Alright. Rufus just called me and told me about a case involving demons in Richmond, Virginia. We could go and…", said Bobby not wanting to end the sentence. The blood was something that he hadn't thought about.

"Dean and I can go, right Dean?", asked Sam

"Yes, sure. You stay here and keep us updated if something else happens in Detroit", answered the elder Winchester

Without looking back, Sam and Dean left the house and went straight to the Impala. It was going to be a long drive, but they were on the final line, ready to save the world…

PRESENT TIME…

When Sam jumped, the Pit closed emanating a blinding light that made Dean and Bobby cover his eyes with their arms. Seconds later, the light was gone, and everything seemed normal again. Dean opened his eyes and saw that Sam was not there anymore. Instead of his little brother, the rings were on the grass. They were hot and it scared him to think what Sam could be living. Was Sam still falling? Was he being tortured already?

The pain in his body didn't bothered anymore as he crawled where the rings were. He picked them up and felt the need to let them go when he started to feel the high temperature against the palm of his hand. Though, he kept the tight grip knowing that the pain was the only thing that would keep him alive. His little brother was probably burning and suffering, and it was his fault. If he hadn't let Sam done that, he'd be there. Why did he give him the green light instead of the red one? How could he have been so damn stupid? He never imagined that losing Sam this time was going to feel like… this. His soul had jumped along with his brother, and dying inside was not even the right word to explain how he felt. He wanted Sam back, he wanted to see his smile or bitch face when he disagreed with one of his plans.

"SAMMY" PLEASE COME BACK SAM!", screamed Dean at the top of his lungs ignoring the pain that came with it. Touching the amulet, hoped to see it glow, indicating that God was near, watching what was happening. Maybe he would be able to bring Sam back.

"Son… I", said Bobby walking towards him

"NO! I WANT SAM BACK! THERE HAS TO BE A WAY, PLEASE! BOBBY…(sob)… I CAN'T LOSE HIM FOREVER"

The old hunter kneeled in front of Dean and placed his hand on his shoulder trying to give him some sort of comfort. He was barely breathing between his crying and screaming, and he wanted to do the same thing. However, he had to be strong for both of them. Tears slid their way down his face as he remembered Sam's last words towards him. The kid had made it, and for once in his life, he had wanted him to fail. How was he and Dean going to live in a world without him? Was Dean going to fine someday? He wanted to say " I'm sorry", but he knew that those words wouldn't help this time. When they'd lost Sam in cold Oak, he felt the pain of his unexpected goodbye. However, this time, seeing how Sam closed his eyes and let his body fall, hurt a lot more. Goodbyes sucked, and he was tired of saying them. That day, he had lost a son, and Dean had lost the most important person of his life as well. He waited for two hours, until Dean accepted to go home. It was time to keep going, he repeated to himself to avoid going back there again.

 **Spnspnspnspnspnspnspnspnspnspnspnspnspnspn**

"what's it all add up to? It's hard to say. But me, I'd say this was a test... for Sam and Dean. And I think they did all right. Up against, Good, Evil, angels, devils, Destiny, and God himself, they made their own choice. They chose family. And, well... isn't that kinda the whole point? No doubt - endings are hard. But then again... **nothing ever really ends, does it**?"

 **Five weeks later…**

Bobby woke up to see another normal day, and also another day without Sam.

Dean had stayed for a couple of days, but then he left his house saying that he had promised Sam something, so he had to go. He didn't explain until he called one day, telling him that he was now living with Lisa and Ben. Dean was destroyed, but Bobby noticed a little spark of happiness and hope in his voice. When Ben called for him, he apologized and ended the call, saying that he was going to visit him someday soon. Dean was going to be better with the time. A kid and a woman wouldn't replace his brother, but they were going to make him feel better, and that was the most important thing.

It was 08:45 AM when he heard the unexpected knock on his door. Rufus would call him, so it could be either a trap or a little girl selling cookies. Bobby prepared his gun and opened the door slowly. What he saw left him frozen. A man was standing right in front of him, and that man was Sam Winchester.

 **THE END.-**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, this fiction has come to an end. I am very happy with this chapter, and I have to say that it made me cry while writing it. Let me know what do you think if you can. See ya on the other fics again guys**

 **P.S: TAHANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND LOVE TOWARDS THIS STORY** **J**


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